I could spell
I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y at the age of 5. Trust me, you do not want to grow up being
compared to your beautiful sisters. I have lumber jack shoulders, a face as
round as the yahoo messenger icon and a not so impressive height. On my
teenage years, I hate wearing tight clothes because it emphasized how ungifted
I am on the chest area. I am skinny and have the most unproportionate body.
Every morning, I stare at the mirror and silently whisper, “I hate myself”.
Fast forward. College. With the help of the people I surround with and the ideologies I started to embrace, I finally made amend of my imperfections. Like really, I had to accept who I am or else I had to work my ass off to earn money for surgery. Kidding, the latter is not even an option.
Amidst all these
struggles within, I had a dirty little secret. I love fashion. I daydream
of modeling the clothes I created. Geez, God knows how obsess I am with Project
Runway, America’s Next Top Model, and all other shows that has to do with
runways, models, and fabric. I go gaga when I enter boutiques trying to
mentally mix-and-match the stuff inside.
Taking the perfect outfit of the day is very important to me because I really wanted to express myself on
the clothes I wear. For me, it is art. But one of the major challenges I had to
face on this quest is being uncomfortable in front of the camera. Yes, I
learned to embrace the blotches of my physical appearance but there is still
this small voice of insecurity that is holding me back.
What will the world
say if I post this photo? Will they notice how flat-chested I am? Will they
ridicule me because I don't even look like a model? Will they hate the entirety
of my look because it does not scream sophistication and glamour which is
the stereotype of fashion?
And then it dawned
unto me. What now if they hate everything about me? Or maybe, I was just
creating this hate thing in my head? What would I lose if I try it? Thanks to
the support of my family, I am now getting out of my comfort zone. I can now
smile and pose in front of the camera with ease because I know the person behind it loves me unconditionally no matter how I look. Yes, my
family members are my photographers.
It worried me at first
because I really am not into makeup. And according to most of the fashion blogs
I follow, good make up must go with your fashion. I am just thankful that OPPO
F1s hosts plug-ins and filters that I can play with to have the endless
opportunity of sharing creative photos. It really is a savior because I am no
fan of makeup. All you can find in my mini kit is a
facial moisturizer and a lip tint.
Also, I am just an
ordinary working student. I fear that the fashion community would oust me if I
could not afford signature clothes. But then again, for me, if you
really are passionate about it, you can pull off fashion without splurging too much. Fashion
is not expensive. Fashion is a challenge to be creative.
I am still
continuously building that confidence to dress, express, and share. With the
journey, I came to realize that the formula for a perfect OOTD shot is an
attitude that you can pull off everything and a camera that supports your goal
like OPPO F1s.
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