Priceless Tips On How To Survive Metro Manila Traffic

Commuters, D-R-I-V-E!

Hunger Games. That book series turned to movie where two representatives from different districts have to participate in an annual death match in the name of food.

The battlecry? Survival of the fittest, elimination of the unfit.

Our day to day life is indeed a survival of the fittest and elimination of the unfit. You need not read or watch Hunger Games to see that. Just try commuting in the Philippines. And it’s more fun in Metro Manila.

For those who have cars, all you have worry are the following: money for gas and toll fees, coding days, plus double, extra, super patience for the metro’s traffic.

For us commuters, what we have to worry are just two deadly things: 1) running out of bus to ride, and 2) running out of oxygen chasing buses along with other feisty and desperate-to-get home passengers.

As an experienced EDSA commuter where falling in line is a deviant practice, I urged everyone to D-R-I-V-E!

D is for Diet. Imagine a pack of tigers, only they are humans, pushing everyone around in order to get in the bus’ minimal door. No offense meant but being thinner (and flatter) is helpful in slipping inside a bus swarmed by hungry passengers. But like toothbrush that needs toothpaste for better result, diet must be coupled with exercising. I learned it the hard way. Being petite makes it easier to just slip but also it is easier for you to get off balance when the big bad guys are your competitors. Okay, time to hit the gym and put some muscle here (my triceps I mean).

R is for Run. Cheetahs are the fastest land animals on record, so the report shows. I beg to differ, ladies and gentlemen. It’s humans! Go to Ayala bus station during rush hour and you’ll see what I am talking about. Hundreds of them running like hell to approaching buses just to get in.

I did not entertain this novelty of commuting so I missed a lot of dinner at home and soon grew tired of this so I learned to play the game. I am an experienced runner now and still on training every day!

I is Ignore Good Manners. My mom brought us up with utmost respect especially to elders. So when an oldie gets on I gave way. You’re welcome. And that’s one of the reasons I get to my destinations late. I know better now. I must be objective. Who cares about the PWDs, the pregnant women, the mothers with their infants? Put your game face on! But just like drinking reminders, do it moderately.

V is Vigilance. Once I too preoccupied getting to office on time so I made my way through the crowd as quick as possible. When I finally boarded, I fished for my smartphone only to realize it was gone. Should I scream? No, I would be nuts to do that! Should I call the police? Oh God! Where are the police? Lesson? Use handphones.

Vigilance is also necessary for all sex maniacs out there who pretend to brush off your chest or butt when the bus is jam-packed or in sudden break. This is also as equally important for those conductors who do not dispense tickets and play deaf when asked for change.

Extend Patience. No matter what you do, shit happens. I wonder how many commuters out there had their relationship shattered after being late on a date or on a birthday. I wonder how many business deals were postponed and how many love letters they got from the HR giving suspension for the well-performed lates. In all these, patience my dear, patience.

I cannot pinpoint what really is the root of this problem. Is it so many people that our vehicles cannot accommodate? Or just so many undisciplined people that makes commuting an agony? On the one hand, could it be that we have so many vehicles our roads can longer accommodate or simply a lack of effective system. Might as well call MMDA…

Meanwhile, if you want to be on top of surviving, go DRIVE.


Basic Speech No. 6 (Pioneer Trailblazers Toastmasters Club)

10 Mga Nakakaasar na Eksena sa Jeepney

1)      Yung pilang daig pa ang blockbuster movie sa sinehan tapos yung mga kapwa mo

pasaherong kakarating lang ay dumiretsong sakay pagkadating na pagkadating.

2)      Yung ipinagssisikan ng drayber na 9 talaga ang dapat makaupo kahit wala ng mapaglagyan. Sabi pa, 'Kaya yan, tiwala lang'. Saveey?!

3)      Yung sinasabihan ka ng drayber na galaw-galaw nalang para magkasya. Eh, Kuya ang sikip na nga diba! Paano pa makakagalaw!

4)      Yung mga pasaherong di marunong mag-abot ng bayad. Di mo matantiya kung busy o wala lang talaga sa sarili.

5)      Yung mga drayber na di marunong mag-abot ng sukli.

6)      Yung mga Mamang mahilig sa manspreading. Yung totoo Kuya gaano ba kalaki yang sayo at kung makabukaka ka diyan ay wagas habang si Nanay sa tabi mo ay ipit na ipit?

7)      Yung mga pasaherong insensitib. Imagine sobrang sikisikan sa jeep. Tapos may mga bumaba. Pero siksikan pa rin sa kabila habang ang luwag sa kabila. Ate, makiramdam din pag may time, di puro FB lang.

8)      Yung mga mamang busy sa kaka-COC habang si Lolo ay nakakabit sa jeep. Totoy, baka makahingi ng konting awa sa tuhod ni Lolo.

9)      Yung mga drayber na tamad huminto. Pumara ka na sa babaan at lahat dire-diresto pa rin. Ayan tuloy kailangan mo pa sumakay ulit pabalik sa sobrang layo ng hinituan.

10)   Yung mga pasaherong kung makasigaw ng ‘Para!’ ay parang wala ng bukas. Nagagalit pa kung hindi nakahinto sa gusto niyang pahintuan. Alam namang bawal doon.

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