10 THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT FOOD

1.    It’s boldly bland.  Maybe the chef likes to play it safe this time and trust the condiments sitting on your table to give taste to that ever unappetizing steak.

2.    It’s superbly salty. I like salty foods but too much of it especially on a soup is like running out of potable water and resort to seawater. That moment with your very first big bite and you realized; “Oh, this dish must be called salt with beef not beef with salt.”

3.    It’s sanity-ripping spicy. So you had your moment spreading the hot sauce on your dish and seconds later you regretted it like hell because it’s firing back. You’ve tumbled and rolled. Gulped cold water and even fanned your mouth. Now relax. Get some milk.

4.    It’s horribly hairy. Hair strands on your seafood paella? Gross.

5.    It’s leafy. Because you are a certified carnivore and a self-declared meatatarian.

6.    It’s meaty. Because you are vegan. Or simply an animal advocate.

7.    Its name is not its taste. How many of us here have fallen victim to food that sounds so mouthwatering, and cool, and exotic leaving us to imagine how unique and sumptuous we ordered without thinking and ending up effing disappointed leaving us hail curses under breath.

8.    It’s not what it is. Have you ever been so lucky to catch your favourite mechado on the menu but looks like afritada and tastes like adobo? Three dishes in one order? How fortunate.

9.    It’s indeterminate. There are foods that are served too hot it burns your tongue. And your lap if you spill it. There are also foods that are served too frozen (though not needed and you did not expect it to be ) it feels your teeth are falling apart.

It just can’t be right. Those times when you find that meat in stew swimming. Or your spaghetti all but pasta and meager sauce while you are digging for the hotdogs and meatballs.