1.
It’s boldly
bland. Maybe the chef likes to play it
safe this time and trust the condiments sitting on your table to give taste to
that ever unappetizing steak.
2.
It’s superbly salty. I
like salty foods but too much of it especially on a soup is like running out of
potable water and resort to seawater. That moment with your very first big bite
and you realized; “Oh, this dish must be called salt with beef not beef with
salt.”
3.
It’s sanity-ripping
spicy. So you had your moment spreading the hot sauce on your dish and seconds
later you regretted it like hell because it’s firing back. You’ve tumbled and
rolled. Gulped cold water and even fanned your mouth. Now relax. Get some milk.
4.
It’s horribly hairy.
Hair strands on your seafood paella? Gross.
5.
It’s leafy. Because
you are a certified carnivore and a self-declared meatatarian.
6.
It’s meaty. Because
you are vegan. Or simply an animal advocate.
7.
Its name is not its
taste. How many of us here have fallen victim to food that sounds so
mouthwatering, and cool, and exotic leaving us to imagine how unique and
sumptuous we ordered without thinking and ending up effing disappointed leaving us hail curses under breath.
8.
It’s not what it is.
Have you ever been so lucky to catch your favourite mechado on the menu but looks like afritada and tastes like adobo?
Three dishes in one order? How fortunate.
9.
It’s indeterminate. There
are foods that are served too hot it burns your tongue. And your lap if you
spill it. There are also foods that are served too frozen (though not needed
and you did not expect it to be ) it feels your teeth are falling apart.
